Parent Duty

Ya know, in many ways getting old stinks.

Bob's parents are about the same age as my grandparents as he was a "later in life" baby like Ginger. Both of them until fairly recently have been pretty healthy and pretty together mentally and physically. Well, that has all been changing rather fast.

Bob's mother, Jane, has been going through a series of strokes, a major heart attack, a triple bypass, congestive heart failure and basically uncontrolled diabetes. Her health in the past three years has been in a rapid and continual decline which is so hard to watch. And in order to keep her healthy enough to try and live for the next five years, she has to be forced to take her medicine and to eat right. (And boy does she fight having to eat right. She will glare at you, call you mean and try to sneak food that she shouldn't have. I know this from personal experience.) This responsibility has fallen to Debbie K.. Debbie is the caretaker of Bob's siblings and the one who is making sure that their parents are taken care of. That is not to say that she doesn't get help from Patti, Bob & Diane, but she has the brunt of the responsibility. It has been hard for her to basically change her relationship with her mother from daughter to caretaker. She has to force her to do what needs to be done even though Jane tries to get out of it.

Bob's father, Bob Sr., has also been going through a decline. His physical health has never been too fabulous because of years of smoking and alcohol abuse. After the death of his second wife a a few years ago, the kids got together and moved him out to San Diego so he could be closer to them. Surprisingly, he gave up both cigarettes and alcohol cold turkey after he moved. Which is such a relief because he, his clothes, his furniture and his house just reeked of smoke and it made everyone sick to their stomach. Bob Sr's rapid decline has been more mental than physical. He has been sliding into dementia for the past few years. He will sit and regale you with the same stories over and over again if you let him. He spent so many years sedentary, he has no strength whatsoever in his upper or lower body. When taking out the trash a week or so ago he fell on the asphalt and really scared himself. When he was here yesterday he kept changing the channel with the remote and then getting frustrated that he couldn't find channel 22 (TCM). I think that a commercial would come on and then he would forget what he was watching and then try to use our rather large universal remote and get frustrated when it wouldn't work. I finally had to take the remote away from him after the third time.

How frustrating for them. They were once young, strong, energetic, creative people. Now they are physically weak and have to have someone walk them around for fear that they might fall again. Luckily, Oregon provides both of them with caregivers for a certain number of hours each week to take care of house cleaning, driving them to doctor's visits and ensuring that they take their medicine. But now, they both have reached the point where they can not live alone any longer. Debbie K. will be taking Jane and we will be taking Bob. At least, that is the current plan. We would have to add on a bathroom by the office downstairs first before we could move him in. There are many things to figure out on our end to see the feasibility of this plan. We need an architect to design one, come up with an approximate financial impact and get the thing built. Then of course, Bob needs to move his office offsite to free up the room. So many things. Debbie has tried to get Bob Sr. into assisted living, but there is a waiting list for those places that accept Medicaid. There is no timeline for when one would come available. The only other option for him is foster care in someone else's home. That is just not an option we could live with. We will see how thinds end up turning out.

I know that even just having Bob Sr. downstairs will be more work for me. Not too much, hopefully. I do have three kids, a husband, a house, a yard, two dogs, two cats and Bob's bookkeeping for the company to take care of. But, I believe that sometimes you do what you have to do because it is the right thing. Bob's parents took care of him so now it is our turn to take care of them. Besides, it could be ok. Alexis and Logan could sit and listen to his stories and never get tired of them. They could entertain him for an hour or so every day. If things got really, really bad we could cross that bridge when we come to it.

Happy Birthday, Bob!

Today is my dear hubby's 41st birthday.

Bob is a wonderful and good man. He is responsible, kind, caring, hard working, honest, a great step-father to Katya and an amazing father to Alexis and Logan. He tries to be all the good and wonderful things that you hope your husband would be when you imagine one.

True, he sometimes does drive me up a wall - but he is just human.

A very, very good human who I got lucky enough to get re-acquainted with in 2001. We had known each other since 1995 as casual friends, but then lost touch after some office shuffling. He came along when I had totally given up on ever having a special someone in my life again. I was just going to concentrate on my career, Katya, my friends and family and hopefully have nice relationships with nice men along the way. I never expected the butterflies in the stomach, daydreams about his eyes, giddiness when he would hold my hand and the deep love that I soon felt for him.

I am exceedingly lucky. I played the lotto of life and somehow got a gem of a guy. I hope we get to enjoy many, many more birthdays together.

Katya's Second Track Meet of the Season

Katya had her second track meet yesterday afternoon and she ROCKED it again!

This meet was held at her middle school and it included Tumalo Middle School, Jefferson County Middle School and Gregory Middle School (from Redmond). The weather couldn't have been more different than last week. I went all ready for some seriously cold weather, but it stayed in the 70's most of the day. I had changed into a long sleeved shirt and I roasted most of the meet.

Thankfully, Ginger babysat Alexis for me so I could concentrate on watching Katya. Also, Debbie K. went for a while and she did a LOT of Logan holding for me so I could run around from event to event. Thank you, Debbie!!

Katya had decided to go ahead and give high jump a try and she had to run back and forth to it for a couple of hours as they raised it to the new heights until she couldn't clear the next height.

Katya's first running event was the 110 low hurdles. She had a clean race and came in FIRST! She had a nice lead towards the end and cleared each hurdle with some great form. I wish my camera would have caught some better pictures, but it has a delay sometimes. I like to try and catch her while she is airborne. Bummer!

The next race that she was in was the 200 meter dash. She was amazing in this race. She had a beautiful start and finished with some distance between her and the person behind her. Terren came up here to visit Katya for a week so she didn't have to fly this month. He took video of all of her races and he said he would burn me a copy so I can put them on You Tube to share.

Between the 200 and her 800 relay she finished out with high jump. Her highest jump was 3' 10". That is pretty darn good for just trying it out for the first time in a meet. I think there was only one girl that jumped higher than that and she had perfect form each time.

The last race of the meet is the 800 relay. They do things a bit different than my high school memories recall. There are four kids and each length that they run is 200 meters. Katya was the second leg of her relay and her team got FIRST place again! At this rate I do believe that Katya will be asked to go to the Division meet in May. She is doing so awesome!!

Katya has some really wonderful friends that came out with their mother's to support Katya and cheer her on. Her friend, Bailey, and her mother came out for a good hour or so to support her. Same with her Campfire leader and her daughter. They are some amazing friends. She has two more regular meets over the next two weeks, then is the Division meet. I am so glad that she is at least trying all these events. It is just a real ego booster when she does well.

Beautiful Spring Day

Yesterday was the most perfect Spring day!

I was up and cleaning the house at 5:30am so I felt so accomplished by the time that Katya came down to eat breakfast before school. We had a nice visit before she took off for school.

Then I got the babies up, dressed and fed and we were out the door by 8:45am. I had joined a Hikes With Tykes class through Bend Park & Rec with my Aunt Ginger so we could do some more interesting walks. Ginger pushes Alexis in one stroller and I push Logan in the other. It was a beautiful walk that included a nice stroll by the river. According to Ginger's pedometer we did about 5 miles.

I felt so good when I got home. Alexis had slept a little bit in the stroller, so when we got home she was wide awake. After the normal diaper changing and feeding of the short ones we went outside and played on the front patio. I put warm water into her water table and sat with Logan and watched Alexis play. She played in the water for a few minutes and then pulled the plug on the bottom. She realized that the water level was going down so she plugged it back up. Then she looked under the table and back at the plug. Then she pulled the plug again and then bent over and watched the rest of the water drain out the bottom and all over the patio. The water fun was short lived. Then while she was on her slide and playing with her ball I decided to put her playhouse together. I got it all together and most of the screws in, but to finish the roof I need someone to push the roof down while I screw it in. At least it is all together so she can play with it.

Alexis played for about two hours before she finally wore herself out enough to take her nap. While she slept, I watered all of my beautiful flowers that have popped up all over the yard. I even have one blooming tulip to enjoy. The rest haven't bloomed and the deer haven't come over for any snacks yet. I bought a bag of Dahlias to put somewhere in the yard and I am trying to figure out where to put them. I enjoy putzing in my yard, it is relaxing.

Unfortunately, my fabulous day was cut short after I picked up Katya from track practice. As we pulled into the driveway steam started pouring out from under the hood of my Durango. My gauges didn't read anything being hot so I just shut the engine off. Coolant poured out of the bottom of my truck all over the driveway. BUMMER! I had some warranty work done last month and evidently it wasn't done too well. AAA had the truck towed to the dealership for repair. So, here I sit at home without any car. Wah!

At least I have beautiful flowers to look at while I am stuck at the house.

New Favorie Bizarre Critter

I am a huge science fiend. I love the science channel, I love museums and I love my Discover magazine. I have been getting a subscription for so many years now, I lost count.

In my April issue there is a photo spread of some of the coolest looking critters I have ever seen. They are all creatures of the deep abyss. They are found more than two miles down in the deepest parts of the ocean. Katya and I were having a good time picking out our favorite creature. Hers is the Vampire Squid. Also totally cool looking.

My current favorite funky creature is the Grimpoteuthis. Also known as the "Dumbo octopus", the Grimpoteuthis is a benthic mollusc found on the ocean floor at depths of 300-400 meters. Dumbo octopuses, which can grow to up to 20 centimeters, are soft-bodied or semi- gelatinous octopuses with a pair of fins located on their mantle and webbing between their arms. Grimpoteuthis swim by moving their fins, pulsing their webbed arms, pushing water through their funnel for jet propulsion, or all three at once. They can swim up off the bottom and hover a bit just above the seafloor looking for snails, worms, and other food. (this definition was taken from a website)

Anyway, I thought it looked kind of like a Pokemon. I can just imagine it saying "Dumbo Octopus, Dumbo Octopus" to Pikachu.

The Art of Composting

I haven't mastered it evidently.

Last Spring I bought a huge compost bin for putting all our grass clippings, tree leaves, fruit & veggie waste, egg shells and coffee grounds. I had read all about what to put in the bins and I thought I had this thing down.

For a whole year now we have been putting stuff into that bin and it has been getting eaten up by the microbes. Today I went down to get my first bucket full to use while planting some flowers when Alexis was taking a nap. What did I find? One inch of fabulous looking compost topped by dry leaves, egg shells, veggies and grass. I'm so bummed and so confused!

I am going to get this thing figured out. I soaked the whole mess with at hose really well this morning to add some much needed moisture. I guess it has been too dry for the compost to work it's magic. I am thinking that somewhere in the middle of this thing is some great compost otherwise it wouldn' t have kept going down. Also, when I was watering it down this morning I saw steam coming out of the vents.

Maybe it just needs to be stirred up more. I'm on the great hunt for a compost mixer thingie (a stick with some mix edges that go in flush with the stick and splay out when you pull it up) and some earthworms. I think those two things will help me get that compost ready for spreading in no time at all.

I will master this thing. I have 1/2 acre that could use some good compost and I don't want to have to buy it every spring when I could make it myself. Wish me luck and if you have any great experience with making compost, let me know!

Quandry

I have a bit of a quandry on my hands.

A few months ago, Bob did some volunteer work for a private school here in Bend. A new cell tower was constructed very close to their school and they had made it known to the local paper that they were afraid that the RF would somehow hurt the children attending the school. Bob called them and volunteered his time to go out there and do the RF readings on the tower (his prior experience at Qualcomm had come in handy) to let them know how strong they were.

In return, the school mailed us a $100 gift certificate to a local restaurant called Baltazar's.

While visiting with my neighbor a few weeks after receiving the gift certificate she proceeded to tell me how her and her husband went to dinner at that very restaurant. She had taken her four month old baby with them since he was still being nursed. Evidently the wait staff was extremly rude to them and told them that they would have to put the baby on the floor since they didn't have highchairs. They have no intention of every returning to the restaurant.

Then I just received an email from the mother's group that I belong to here in Bend with a woman's account of her experience at the same restaurant. She had a similar experience as my neighbor and she wrote a letter to the manager expressing her dissatisfaction for the rudeness she received there. He called her back and basically told her he didn't like children and he didn't want them in his restaurant. He then told her off with some profanity and hung up on her.

So, I now have this gift certificate for a restaurant owned and operated by a jerk. It isn't just the fact that he doesn't want children there, it is that he was such a jerk to this woman. Now, the demographics of Bend are such that basically everyone that doesn't already have a kid is pregnant or planning on getting pregnant some time soon. This guy has just cut off a huge portion of the dining patrons of Bend.

What do I do? Do I have someone babysit long enough for us to use this gift certificate sans kids knowing the experiences of other people? Do I just not use the gift certificate at all? Do I save it and give it to someone else who doesn't have kids? Do I go in and ask for a the dollar value in cash for the certificate knowing they most likely won't give it to me? I could use some suggestions.